A Most Tremendous Proposal: Making America Rule-by-Decree Again
It is a most unsettling reality that the American populace, once burdened by the cumbersome weight of legislative process, judicial oversight, and the nuisance of representative democracy, now finds itself gloriously liberated by the sheer expedience of executive orders. No longer must we endure the tedium of debate, compromise, or even basic scrutiny. A single stroke of a pen, like a divine edict from Olympus, is sufficient to reshape the nation at the will of one great man.
However, there remains a most pressing concern: the inefficiency of even this most streamlined method of governance. While one executive order may undo the last, and another may contradict both, the American people already overwhelmed by the relentless churn of headlines struggle to keep pace. The sheer quantity of these decrees, signed with an enthusiasm unmatched in modern history, risks drowning us all in a bureaucratic tsunami of historic proportions.
It is therefore humbly proposed that we do away with all other branches of government entirely. Congress, after all, has long been an obstruction to true progress. The Supreme Court, with its tedious adherence to precedent and law, merely delays the inevitable. If the power of governance rests in the hands of one individual, why not embrace this efficiency to its logical conclusion? Let us discard the excess baggage of democracy and establish a Supreme Decree Bureau, whose sole function is to transcribe, distribute, and enforce the unchallenged wisdom of our nation’s single, most exceptional executive.
To ensure this system runs at peak efficiency, all executive orders shall be pre-approved the moment they are conceived in thought. What need is there for time-consuming drafting, when the mere utterance of a policy be it from the podium or the golf course should be deemed law by default? With this streamlined approach, we can issue directives in real time, adjusting national policy on the fly as circumstances (or moods) dictate.
Naturally, with this new system, it would be wasteful to conduct future elections, as such a mechanism suggests choice, and choice is a relic of the indecisive past. We must rid ourselves of the costly and divisive practice of electoral contests and instead embrace a Lifetime Appointment Policy. Should a successor be necessary, we may establish a Bloodline Succession Clause, ensuring stability and continuity in governance through the most time-honored method: hereditary rule.
Thus, in this golden age of governance by signature, let us embrace the full majesty of the moment. No longer shackled by the antiquated expectations of democratic rule, America may finally achieve its true potential: a nation unburdened by process, empowered by impulse, and led into the future by the steady, self-assured hand of one truly magnificent leader.
All hail efficiency! All hail the pen!
Poetry By Chance 